I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
