is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
