her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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