he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
