there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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