Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
