if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
