You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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