The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
did i just pee glitter
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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