my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
