Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
