Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
