It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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