he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize