my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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