walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
