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So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
