Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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