Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
