she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
