hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
