Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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