omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Houston, we have a blender
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
