i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
