So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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