Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
