On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
