There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
