Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
