I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
