Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
