Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
