the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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