I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
