I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
