Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
