I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
