What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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