Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize