First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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