He is such a slut. More and more my type.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
