So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize