I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
