I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
