he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
