the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is Oprah even human
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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