he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
