Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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