I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
