Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
