I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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