Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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