I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
