that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
