Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The air was thick with penises
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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