I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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