please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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