Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
