you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
